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For Certain

by Ben Griffin

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1.
How can I tell you I ain’t got nothin to say How can I tell you I ain’t got nothin to say Woke up with a new addiction feasting on my days How can I tell you I ain’t got nothin to say How can I whisper everything’s ok How can I whisper that everything’s ok This place is far too loud for you to hear what I have to say So how can I whisper tell you everything’s ok How can I tell you I ain’t got nowhere to be How can I tell you I ain’t got nowhere to be Flesh and bone and stick and stone all will soon be one with me How can I tell you I ain’t got nowhere to be [Bridge] How can I tell you I ain’t a man anymore How can I tell you I never really was before Hands upon my hands I think I finally found the door How can I tell you I ain’t a man anymore
2.
Warning! 02:50
I emptied out my eyes again Shoveling out all the grief and the doubt Be some time til I do it again Give the moon a chance to breath in Give the magician a coin In order to inspect the state he’s in Yearning bodies Burning bodies to keep us warm I’m the jaws of winter You’re a warning I emptied out my eyes again Scratching out all the things we don’t talk about Won’t be too long til I do it again Give the girl a chance to breathe in Give the magician a hand In order to produce the coin again [solo] Yearning bodies Burning bodies to keep us warm I’m the jaws of winter You’re a warning I emptied out my eyes again Acting out some kind of petty pointless bout Be some time til I perform again Give your lungs a chance to breath in Give the wind a little time In order to expel the storm we’re in Yearning bodies Burning bodies to keep us warm I’m the jaws of winter You’re a warning Taking stands Shaking hands a dead giveaway I’m afraid of the sun And that my sons won’t know me
3.
Bug Bite 02:54
Bugs gonna bite Men gonna fight I’m gonna light a fire Just to put you out It’s all a game Don’t feel ashamed Losing love is tame Compared to losing time So we’re winning it now I’ve got you in my mouth Every moment sweeter than the last Floorboards creak Only when you try to sneak The midwinter looks bleak But only from the other side Life runs free Burns it’s neck and scrapes it’s knees Listens carefully to the trees And all their rotten tongues So we’re cooking now In the park with the sprinklers out Every moment sweeter than the last So we’re winning it now I’ve got you in my mouth Every moment sweeter than the last
4.
Adelaide 04:09
Thumb prick and a drop of blood in the earth Wing twitch and a crack of the shell And I don’t know what got into Adelaide But I’m shivering in the back of her car Thumb prick and I drop your outreached hand Don’t itch away all of your hope And all of her sons are castaways But I’m living just to see how far they go I’ve been waiting on a sign Posted upon your forehead and mine Patient wanderer Don’t look over yonder The view here’s serene Paint it green I’ve been waiting at a light Rolling an inch or two at a time Requesting permission Lost in transmission The moth to a flame As Autumn fades Don’t sit with your grief on your arms and back Just sit on the trunk with me And I don’t know what got into Adelaide Little girl what a mess you’ve made Ooh Ooh I’ve been wasting all my time Drawing a map from your house to mine Chasing pavement But the dust in the basement Cheats my lungs Roll off of my tongue I’ve been wasting on a vine Plucking the strings of backyard light Sour and sunburned Houses crumbling to the earth And the sea Trailing off on a breeze
5.
Part of Me 03:34
You wonder how I moved on so fast Well I was only there half of the time So while part of me got to roam free The other part was sitting home crying You wonder how I twisted the knife Well I’d seen a dagger before in my lines You played the part so well it really felt like you were bleeding out and dying Oooh You know that I can’t handle a crowd I tend to crumple like a foreign flower Red alert mind eyes desperate to find My northernmost corner to cower You know that I can’t stand myself That is I can’t stand me without you Get your money right I’ll be along some other night For now we’ll just have to make do Oooh Freezing floes rush over me and I jump out God only knows what she was talking about It’s not what it appears But I can’t pretend any longer to hear These troubles you lay at my feet I wonder if I’ve said too much Or if I should’ve said it months ago Would I have pulled you dear from the river of tears I guess we already know
6.
Read My Mind 04:50
I’ve been out walking alone Lately the path starts to feel overgrown We seem to be on the same page On the very same line You give the city a go I’ll try the mountains and we can swap notes Maybe we’ll meet in a park Somewhere in the middle Before it gets dark And I don’t know why I give in to fear every time Could you just read my mind I can’t get this song out right You’re the key I’m the kite There’s some kind of lump in my throat Trying to fill in a heart-shaped hole Sweet sunny day memories I’ll keep them close Yellow melodies And I don’t know why I give in to fear every time Could you just read my mind I can’t get this song out right You’re the key I’m the kite You’re the key I’m the kite Under the endless sun Youth disappearing before it’s begun Time trickles by like the creek Crawling down hills Wrinkling cheeks And I don’t know why I say the same prayers every night I’ve been caught in a lie I slip out the back every time And I don’t know why I give in to fear every time Could you just read my mind I can’t get this song out right You’re the key I’m the kite You’re the key I’m the kite Don’t let it take me tonight
7.
Old 03:05
We grew up together When the pink still spotted your nose Lying down for days your gaze Decidedly froze Sleeping in a blanket I scoop you off the carpet Careful to cradle your head as I open the door put you in the back of the car and say goodnight [Solo] And my mom said, ‘Oh Ben’ and called my sister And I know you’re running girl And Heroes is playing And the leaves are changing And the water got cold And we all got old We all got old Drying every tear In every life that used to be mine Lying in the sand commanding the fish To swim in a line Wrapped up in an autumn embrace You shine under the sun Your friends will miss you but winter is here Your family’s shadow never disappeared Everything stays though we might shed a tear When at last your work is done At last your work is done
8.
You can ride all night Moon as your guide Keep me in your heart Whenever you start To get a little taste Of something gone to waste However far you roam I’ll always be your home You can drive all day Stop where you may Find the little jewels On your way to school In the morning cold There’s no one to hold Take another step Your right then your left But if I go And leave my home She’ll still grow Strong and whole Sweet and free and green A painting in a dream She looks in my eyes And I can’t breathe You can ride all night Find a place to hide Let the fire burn Someday you’ll learn But for now just sway Let it wash away I’ll be on the breeze Singing with the trees And so I go And leave my home But she still grows Strong and whole Sweet and free and green Another lucid dream She’s behind me eyes When I am sleeping
9.
Wake Up 04:48
What if I don’t wake up What if I don’t live to see the next day What if I just eat shit and that’s it What are my friends gonna say Will they know the whole story Will they fill in the gaps as needed Will I fall out of grace in this space When they find out the things that can’t be repeated Oh you don’t really think that was me My spirit is gone We don’t have long Cut me open to see what we can see What if I don’t wake up What if I forget the right words to say When it all goes wrong before long Will I still get a checkpoint to save Will the system reboot Will I find myself suitcase in hand Ready to board a train back to Maine All according to plan Oh I didn’t know that was you Your hands covered in mold Lips have gone cold I need you here to tell me what to do Oh you didn’t really think that was me My spirit is dead Misplaced his head Finally my body is free What if I don’t wake up What if I freeze just before the finish line When that voice in your head drops dead Who’s to say that your not fine Will everything stop Will the show just go on as planned And when the curtain falls and that’s all Will the crowd still give me a hand What if I never woke up What if the last one really did me in What if in my distress I confessed To many lifetimes worth of sins
10.
Siren 05:04
Oh you don’t have to go Soul on the line I hear the call Of sirens singing Down a highway Echoing Atlantic beckoning I see visions Of a highway Weathering A storm of reckoning And I fly And I fly Oh you don’t have to go You don’t have to ask for more The world is here on this shore Oh you don’t have to go You don’t have to say another word Sirens ringing Down a highway Near death I smelt his breath I see visions Of a highway Swerving starboard Bloody dashboard And I cry And I cry Oh you don’t have to know All there is to know In order to grow Oh you don’t have to go Make yourself at home You’re never alone
11.
I lost my head somewhere along the road It’s still kicking up dirt I don’t think I’ll need it for the rest of the ride But there’s blood on my shirt Ghosting hopefuls possessing my dinner Crumbs all over the floor I lost my legs in another life They were just dead weight I fell asleep just to wake On the other side of the world As they open my spirit refuses to choose Eyes of blue or green
12.
Blame it on your dad Doesn’t matter to me I like mine the way he is Things passed down inevitably He likes who I’ve become He likes the songs I write Doesn’t care for confrontation Walks away from a fight And I guess that’s what’s different now But I haven’t really changed I hold him to high standards But it’s only cuz we’re the same You could be a gambler If you just had the gumption You could be a judge Codify those assumptions But you don’t have materials You didn’t even make a list Of strangers and hobbies Decorations and gifts Have your little party I hope you’re feeling secure Things aren’t exactly stable But you’re picketing for a cure I like to watch the fire Building something to burn I never wanted you to shiver But I need the seasons to turn And you know what holds you back now But that knowledge might be a curse I drive to keep from fidgeting But the engine problems are worse And you know what holds you back now Can’t you find some solace in that? Take it from a gardener Don’t waste the spring looking back

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released November 16, 2023

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Ben Griffin Portland, Maine

Singer/Songwriter splitting time between Philly and Maine

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